Skip to main content

Funny Quotes and jokes in hindi

आप के लिए पेश है बहुत ही मनोरंजक funny quotes हिंदी में. मुझे उम्मीद है की ये सभी के सभी कोट्स आप को बहुत ही पसंद आएंगे। अगर आपको ये कोट्स हँसाने में कामयाब हुए तोह ये हंसी अपने तक सिमित न रखियेगा , इस हंसी को सब तरफ फैला दीजिये। इन सभी कोट्स को अपने परिवार और मित्रो के साथ  फ़ेसबूक व ट्विटर के द्धारा शेयर करे ।

और हा , आप इन्हें अपने whatsapp status भी लगा सकते है ।

१- Bluetooth और girlfriend एक जैसी होती है, पास रखो तो # Connect,
दूर रखो तो # New_Device_Found.

२- कामयाबी के सूत्र :
भारत में बच्चे #Bournvita से
महिलाएं #Fair & Lovely से
और
पुरुष #रजनीगन्धा से कामयाब होते हैं
बाकी डिग्री-विग्री सब भ्रम है...

३ हमने सोचा था की हर मोड़ पर याद करेंगे तुझको, पर कमबख़त पूरी सड़क ही सीधी निकली।

४- मेरे पास तुम्हारे लिए एक अछि खबर है और एक बुरी। बुरी खबर? मेरे पास कोई अछि खबर नहीं है । और अच्छी खबर ? मेरे पास कोई बुरी खबर नहीं है। 

५- हम शरीफ बच्चे है जनाब !! जब तक माँ जागने के लिए न बोले मज़ाल है जो अपनी आँख भी खोल दे😂😂

६- गुप्त सूत्रों के हवाले से पता चला है कि
‘कमेंट में 5 लिखे और जादू देखे’जैसी पोस्ट का प्रयोग विदेशी सर्वे एजेंसियां
भारत में चूतियो की संख्या का पता लगाने के लिए करती है।  

7 - परीक्षा के बाद बच्चे और ऑपरेशन के बाद डॉक्टर एक ही चीज़ कहते हैं,
” कुछ कह नहीं सकते, बस दुआ करें “

8 - अचानक Wi-Fi सिग्नल बंद हो गये… लगता है कि… पडोसी ने बिल नहीं भरा…!!

9-  अहंकार और पेट जब ज्यादा बढ़ जाता है तो इंसान चाहकर भी किसी को गले नहीं लगा पाता …

10 - ताजा शोध से पता चला है कि ,, जिन पतियों की बीवियां घर में उनका बिल्कुल चलने नहीं देती वे पुरुष व्हाट्सऐप पर ग्रुप बनाकर खुद मुखिया बन जाते हैं ।

11 - नेता: वह शख्स जो अपने देश के लिये आपकी जान की कुर्बानी देने  को हमेशा तैयार रहता है।

12 - मेरे पिताजी को कभी भी मुझपे गर्व नहीं हुआ। 
       एक दिन उन्होंने मुझसे पुछा "आप कितने साल के हो गए हो?"
       मैंने कहा "पांच साल का।"
       उन्होंने कहा " जब में तुम्हारी उम्र का था तब में छः साल का था।"

13 - वह शर्मनाक पल जब आपको लगता है कि आपका पाद चुपचाप हवा के रूप में बहार आएगा लेकिन वो एक मशीन गन की तरह बहार आता है। भटट 😆😆



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Funny Sayings Page 1

I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
Unknown

Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush...I mean it about the toothbrush. Source : Humorous Funny Sayings

Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson  

Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? Anyhow, I'm busting for a pee.

A compromise is an agreement whereby both partiesget what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Unknown

Wi-fi went down for five minutes, So I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people. :)

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright

Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!
Ano…

Funny One Liners

That's the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

When God asks what you’ve done with your life, try not to say “Didn’t you read my statuses?”

Always believe in God. Because there are some questions that even Google can't answer.

Face down, ass up, that s the way we............ tie our shoes!

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished.

I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days.

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
Mega Jones

One day before exam, I become the most religious person in the WORLD!!

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.

Only the good die young. So most of us are pretty safe.

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

Candy Is dandy, But liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash

I swear to DRUNK, I am not GOD.

Marriage is not a word...is a sentence.    source: funnyquotes4u.net

Love is like a Rhino, short-sighted, but always will…

Friends Sayings

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. ---Sicilian Proverb A Friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway!!! ---- Author Unknown Best friends listen to what you don't. It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ---John Dryden If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. ----Edgar Watson Howe If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them. I'd be at the bottom to catch them. Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend. ---Plautus Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey Friends are the flowers in the garden of life! The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley There are big ships and small ships. B…

Funny Short Sayings

Sit comfortably, have a cup of coffee in your hand and be ready for journey, the journey of funny short sayings. Unlike other journey which consists of some degree of tiredness, this journey will provide you with giggles, chuckles, laughter, fun and humor. When you came back from this journey, you’ll feel refreshed, lightened and ecstatic.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

You’re just 18 with (?) year’s experience.

Funny how the new things are the old things.
Rudyard Kipling

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
Sarah Brown

My Nuts are Ok.

A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
Oscar Wilde

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.  Source

Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a…

Funny Sayings Page 18

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
Lao Tsu

The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the Prices of new car.

When you turn thirty, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents.
Blair Sabol

I've never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished the fifth grade a year before I did.
Jeff Foxworthy

I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

If guilty pleasures are so guilty then why do they feel so darn innocent.

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?
Mark Twain


I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
Homer J. Simpson

I don’t want to die, but I am not keen on living either.

What do toilets and refrigerators have in common? They both know how to hold a load of crap.

If you want to see a co…