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Funny Quotes and jokes in hindi

आप के लिए पेश है बहुत ही मनोरंजक funny quotes हिंदी में. मुझे उम्मीद है की ये सभी के सभी कोट्स आप को बहुत ही पसंद आएंगे। अगर आपको ये कोट्स हँसाने में कामयाब हुए तोह ये हंसी अपने तक सिमित न रखियेगा , इस हंसी को सब तरफ फैला दीजिये। इन सभी कोट्स को अपने परिवार और मित्रो के साथ  फ़ेसबूक व ट्विटर के द्धारा शेयर करे ।

और हा , आप इन्हें अपने whatsapp status भी लगा सकते है ।

१- Bluetooth और girlfriend एक जैसी होती है, पास रखो तो # Connect,
दूर रखो तो # New_Device_Found.

२- कामयाबी के सूत्र :
भारत में बच्चे #Bournvita से
महिलाएं #Fair & Lovely से
पुरुष #रजनीगन्धा से कामयाब होते हैं
बाकी डिग्री-विग्री सब भ्रम है...

३ हमने सोचा था की हर मोड़ पर याद करेंगे तुझको, पर कमबख़त पूरी सड़क ही सीधी निकली।

४- मेरे पास तुम्हारे लिए एक अछि खबर है और एक बुरी। बुरी खबर? मेरे पास कोई अछि खबर नहीं है । और अच्छी खबर ? मेरे पास कोई बुरी खबर नहीं है। 

५- हम शरीफ बच्चे है जनाब !! जब तक माँ जागने के लिए न बोले मज़ाल है जो अपनी आँख भी खोल दे😂😂

६- गुप्त सूत्रों के हवाले से पता चला है कि
‘कमेंट में 5 लिखे और जादू देखे’जैसी पोस्ट का प्रयोग विदेशी सर्वे एजेंसियां
भारत में चूतियो की संख्या का पता लगाने के लिए करती है।  

7 - परीक्षा के बाद बच्चे और ऑपरेशन के बाद डॉक्टर एक ही चीज़ कहते हैं,
” कुछ कह नहीं सकते, बस दुआ करें “

8 - अचानक Wi-Fi सिग्नल बंद हो गये… लगता है कि… पडोसी ने बिल नहीं भरा…!!

9-  अहंकार और पेट जब ज्यादा बढ़ जाता है तो इंसान चाहकर भी किसी को गले नहीं लगा पाता …

10 - ताजा शोध से पता चला है कि ,, जिन पतियों की बीवियां घर में उनका बिल्कुल चलने नहीं देती वे पुरुष व्हाट्सऐप पर ग्रुप बनाकर खुद मुखिया बन जाते हैं ।

11 - नेता: वह शख्स जो अपने देश के लिये आपकी जान की कुर्बानी देने  को हमेशा तैयार रहता है।

12 - मेरे पिताजी को कभी भी मुझपे गर्व नहीं हुआ। 
       एक दिन उन्होंने मुझसे पुछा "आप कितने साल के हो गए हो?"
       मैंने कहा "पांच साल का।"
       उन्होंने कहा " जब में तुम्हारी उम्र का था तब में छः साल का था।"

13 - वह शर्मनाक पल जब आपको लगता है कि आपका पाद चुपचाप हवा के रूप में बहार आएगा लेकिन वो एक मशीन गन की तरह बहार आता है। भटट 😆😆


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Funny Sayings Page 1

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Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.

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Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? Anyhow, I'm busting for a pee.

A compromise is an agreement whereby both partiesget what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.

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College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
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It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
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When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
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That's the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

When God asks what you’ve done with your life, try not to say “Didn’t you read my statuses?”

Always believe in God. Because there are some questions that even Google can't answer.

Face down, ass up, that s the way we............ tie our shoes!

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished.

I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days.

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
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Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.

Only the good die young. So most of us are pretty safe.

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

Candy Is dandy, But liquor is quicker.
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I swear to DRUNK, I am not GOD.

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Beauty is truth, truth beauty" - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. ----John Keats Simplicity and straight forwardness and not intelligence, lead to happiness. The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart. ---Benjamin Franklin Don’t show attitude… I have one of my own… The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open. Never move an old boundary mark that your ancestors established. Keep the gains of the post generation safely and pass them to our
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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

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A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
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I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
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Funny Sayings Page 18

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
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The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the Prices of new car.

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If guilty pleasures are so guilty then why do they feel so darn innocent.

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