Funny Short Sayings

Posted: Thursday, June 4, 2009 | |

Sit comfortably, have a cup of coffee in your hand and be ready for journey, the journey of funny short sayings. Unlike other journey which consists of some degree of tiredness, this journey will provide you with giggles, chuckles, laughter, fun and humor. When you came back from this journey, you’ll feel refreshed, lightened and ecstatic.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

You’re just 18 with (?) year’s experience.

Funny how the new things are the old things.
Rudyard Kipling

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
Sarah Brown

My Nuts are Ok.

A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
Oscar Wilde

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.  Source

Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you forget the question.

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.
Harry S. Truman.

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
Benjamin Franklin

I do all of my own nude scenes.

So, when is the wizard getting back to you with the brain.

I do what the voices in my pant tell me to do.

It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
Mae West

I tried paying my bills with a smile. They wanted money.

When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
W.C. Fields

Truth is Aristocratic, It never follows. It should be followed.

The poor wish to be rich. The rich wish to be happy. The happy wish to be married. The married wish to be dead.
Ann Landers

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

The baby is fine, the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Woody Allen

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

You are so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn’t come back to you!

As a matter of fact, I am a rocket scientist.

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
Joe Namath

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
Edwin Arlington Robinson

Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.
Thomas Edison


  1. Zam Obed said...
  2. health they say is wealth, i'd prefer to see it in CASH

  3. Anonymous said...
  4. I like cheese but cheese likes u

  5. emma said...
  6. stupid people say what

  7. Anonymous said...
  8. WARNING: i am naked under my clothes!!

  9. Sammy said...
  10. Some people say bite me.I say "I'll bite you"

  11. Anonymous said...
  12. some people just need a high-five
    in the face
    with a chair

  13. dradul said...
  14. where there's will, there's a way,
    where there is no way, there's a bull

  15. Anonymous said...
  16. if you're not happy, get lost!

    i'm dead dead dead, put me in a coffin!

    wherever u go i go, whatever u do i do, wherever u r, i r? say what?

    finding u, is a finding NEMO!

    if they say "HI", then answer them "HELLO".

  17. Anonymous said...
  18. True. That like my boyfriend

  19. Anonymous said...
  20. Did you hear what i said.....I heard what i said... i was standing here when i said it.

  21. Anonymous said...
  22. I hear voices in my head...and they say they don't like you.

  23. Anonymous said...
  24. That makes no sense

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