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Showing posts from December, 2009

Funny Sayings Page 19

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
Erica Jong

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson

I don't know half of you as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
JRR Tolkien

A lifelong friend is someone you haven’t borrowed money from yet.

Intolerance will not be tolerated!

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain

Hard work never killed anybody. But it does keep you off Facebook.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
Casey Stengel

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
Marilyn Pittman

No sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn’t work anyway.