I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
Take my advice — I'm not using it.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
I make progress by having people around me who are smarter than I am and listening to them. And I assume that everyone is smarter about something than I am. ----Henry J. Kaiser
The glass is neither half full nor half empty. The size of the glass could be more appropriate.
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president. I'm beginning to believe it.
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?' --Don Marquis
In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
Time does'nt exist. Clocks exists.
I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit for the one thing you've done yourself?
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
Just because your doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
It is not that I trust you. It is because I am lazy.
The problem with trouble shooting is that trouble shoots back.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
Wherever smart people work, doors are unlocked. --- Steve Wozniak
People who are smart get into Mensa. People who are really smart look around and leave. - James Randi
I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
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An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field.
Niels Bohr -
I’m a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.
Thomas Jefferson -
The good times of today, are the sad thoughts of tomorrow. ---Bob Marley
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He who can, does – He who cannot, teaches.
George Bernard Shaw
I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
Unknown
Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush...I mean it about the toothbrush. Source : Humorous Funny Sayings
Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson
Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? Anyhow, I'm busting for a pee.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both partiesget what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Unknown
Wi-fi went down for five minutes, So I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people. :)
College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost
It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!
Ano…
Unknown
Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush...I mean it about the toothbrush. Source : Humorous Funny Sayings
Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson
Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? Anyhow, I'm busting for a pee.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both partiesget what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Unknown
Wi-fi went down for five minutes, So I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people. :)
College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost
It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright
Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!
Ano…
NICE LOL
ReplyDeleteSarcasm is a body's natural defense to Stupid!
ReplyDelete