Skip to main content

Funny Sayings Page 6

  • Laugh often, Dream big, Reach for the stars!
  • A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  • Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
  • If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
  • If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
  • A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.- Buster Keaton
  • Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.- Unknown
  • Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? ----Groucho Marx
  • I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack.
  • I'm attempting to construct a mnemonic memory circuit, using stone knives and bearskins. – Spock
  • A poor surgeon hurts 1 person at a time. A poor teacher hurts 130.
    Ernest Leroy Boyer
  • The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
    Vince Lombardi
  • I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming.
    A.A.Attanasio
  • Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license.
  • Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should
    be happier than others.
    Oscar Wilde
  • A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
    Oscar Wilde
  • Things are more like they are now than they have ever been.
    Gerald Ford
  • If men knew all that women think, they would be twenty times more daring.
    Alphonse Karr
  • I never loved another person the way I loved myself.
    Mae Wes
  • One advantage of marriage it seems to me is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you it keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
    Judith Viorst
  • Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.
    Erma Bombeck
  • The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing. —- Kin Hubbard

Comments

  1. "Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population." ... This one was really funny...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have noticed that whenever I noticed you never notice that I have noticed

    ReplyDelete
  3. Latest survey has also shown that 1 out of 2 people makeup 50% of world's population. :-P

    ReplyDelete
  4. The saying -Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together - That one is said by Adam Savage, On the mythbusters

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger, and then it hit me!

    ReplyDelete
  6. it is a fact of life that you will always pick the trolley with wobbly wheel.

    ReplyDelete
  7. this page is really funny and cool.....enjoyed reading quotes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? and
    He has a face like a Saint -a Saint Bernard that is–

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very Nicee :P keep posting

    ReplyDelete
  10. soooooooo i read everything haha pretty funny (: i love these

    ReplyDelete
  11. HOW ABOUT "i LIKE TO STOP THE MICROWAVE WITH 1 SECOND TO GO. MAKES ME FEEL LIKE A BOMB DEFUSAL EXPERT." LOL

    ReplyDelete
  12. math illiteracy effects 8 out of every 5 people....

    ReplyDelete
  13. This page is just hilarious. Makes my nait. Keep up Admin.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hate when I am standing at the bus stop and someone asks me, "did the bus come already?" No I have been here since 7am and it now 3pm.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Funny Sayings Page 1

I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
Unknown

Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush...I mean it about the toothbrush. Source : Humorous Funny Sayings

Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson  

Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? Anyhow, I'm busting for a pee.

A compromise is an agreement whereby both partiesget what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Unknown

Wi-fi went down for five minutes, So I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people. :)

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright

Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!
Ano…

Funny One Liners

That's the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

When God asks what you’ve done with your life, try not to say “Didn’t you read my statuses?”

Always believe in God. Because there are some questions that even Google can't answer.

Face down, ass up, that s the way we............ tie our shoes!

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished.

I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days.

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
Mega Jones

One day before exam, I become the most religious person in the WORLD!!

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.

Only the good die young. So most of us are pretty safe.

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

Candy Is dandy, But liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash

I swear to DRUNK, I am not GOD.

Marriage is not a word...is a sentence.    source: funnyquotes4u.net

Love is like a Rhino, short-sighted, but always will…

Funny Sayings About Old Age

I guess I don’t mind so much being old, as I mind being fat and old. - Peter Gabriel Don’t worry about avoiding temptation – as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
~Author Unknown
I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know? -Barry Cryer Growing old is like...
Being increasingly penalized ,
For a crime you have not committed!
Anthony Powell
I’m not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You’re as old as you feel. ~Elizabeth ArdenWe don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. ~George Bernard ShawLife is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. --- George Burns Old age is when you keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.
- Lillian Carter
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not …

Wise Sayings

Beauty is truth, truth beauty" - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. ----John Keats Simplicity and straight forwardness and not intelligence, lead to happiness. The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart. ---Benjamin Franklin Don’t show attitude… I have one of my own… The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open. Never move an old boundary mark that your ancestors established. Keep the gains of the post generation safely and pass them to our
future generation with useful addition by using best of our knowledge
and caliber. . A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning. ----Unknown Author You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. ~Frances Willard Try to hide bad qualities of others. …

Funny Short Sayings

Sit comfortably, have a cup of coffee in your hand and be ready for journey, the journey of funny short sayings. Unlike other journey which consists of some degree of tiredness, this journey will provide you with giggles, chuckles, laughter, fun and humor. When you came back from this journey, you’ll feel refreshed, lightened and ecstatic.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

You’re just 18 with (?) year’s experience.

Funny how the new things are the old things.
Rudyard Kipling

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
Sarah Brown

My Nuts are Ok.

A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
Oscar Wilde

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.  Source

Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a…