don't look at me in that tone of voice.
He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants. ---Chuck Tanner
Perhaps the best Yuletide decoration is being wreathed in smiles. --- Unknown
I Like this quote I dislike this quote“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ---- Oscar Wilde
I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best
Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted. ----Sébastien Roch Nicolas Chamfort
A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around. -----Carolyn Birmingham
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
Nobody ever died of laughter. ---- Max Beerbohm
Laughter is a medicine with no side effects.
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
No, we've had no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with September the 11th," Bush NYTimes
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks. ----Jean Kerr
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met! Rodney Dangerfield
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Adolescence is the stage between infancy and adultery. Unknown
You've got to have something to eat and a little love in your life before you can hold still for any damn body's sermon on how to behave. ----Billie Holiday
Oh crap! You're going to try and cheer me up, aren't you?
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. ---Unknown
Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. ~ Woody Allen
If you think your wife's jewellery is an investment, try selling a few pieces.
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
I respect your reality and detonate my own.
I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain. ---Carol Leifer
Life’s a bitch and then you die.
There comes a time in every friendship when you have to say: I never liked you in the first place.
I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type. ----Bob Hope
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