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Funny Sayings for T-Shirt

Whether you want to get attention or provoke a reaction or simply want to make others smile, the following funny sayings for T-shirt will serve your purpose. Some people will frown upon your tee, some will laugh, some will look you down and some other will cringe but you should give a damn about people.

I’m going to start with my favorite T-shirt sayings, and I request you that you add yours favorite to the comments.

So here we go:
  • Rehab Is for Quitters
  • I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer
  • Do not disturb I'm disturbed enough already.
  • I wear the brains in the family.
  • Hard work has a future payoff Laziness pays off now.
  • Jesus love you but I’m his favorite T Shirt.
  • I Don’t Know What Makes You So Dumb, But It Really Works
  • He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest
  • I Want What I Want
  • I bite the hand that feeds me.
  • row row row your boatgently down the streammerrily merrily merrily merrilyI just have to scream
  • Do Not Disturb Already Disturbed
  • He Who Laughs Last Thinks Slowest
  • You never see a motorcycle at a psychiatrics office.
  • Smile and the world smiles with you....F a r t and you stand alone.
  • ''I work for the F.B.I.(Female Body Inspectors)''
  • When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better. ---Mae West
  • I'm really enjoying not talking to you, so let's not talk again real soon, okay?
  • I'm not cynical. Just experianced.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN....Cops have nothing to go on.
  • You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  • Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?
  • God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me..
  • "Was today really necessary?"
  • 'I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts -- Do You Want Fries With That?"
  • "Too cool to comprehend"
  • Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
  • I'm out of estrogen and I've got a gun....any questions?
  • My husband and I divorced over religious differences - He thought he was God.
  • You suck and thats sad.
  • I was born intelligent - education ruined me.
  • Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.
  • Press any key to... No! Not THAT one!
  • Beauty is Pain.


  1. How about this...
    I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

  2. "If the world didn't sometimes suck, we would all fall off!" - Andrea Wiens, Calgary, AB

  3. how bout this: Remember my'll be screaming it later

  4. When your parents tell you your hard-headead, take it as a compliment and remark by saying it's the strongest protection you have for your brain.

  5. No one dies virgin..because life f..k everyone

  6. I called your boyfriend gay, he hit me with his purse!!

    My friends and i will be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home!!

    i am the type of girl that can watch hundreds of horror movies and never get scared, but will scream at the top of her lungs when the toast pops out of the toaster!!

    LOL i loves these sooooo much!!!!

  7. People never die...... They keep floating in the sky!!

  8. I m MBA... Married But Accecible

  9. My time machine broke down two weeks from tomorrow, the mechanic says it'll be fixed by last wednesday!

  10. My Mind is like lightning, one flash and its gone.

  11. here`s mine....gods busy can i help and its got a pic of satan on it

  12. Ride it like your exs lawyer is coming to take it!! Thats my fav!

  13. "Screw me if I am wrong, but have we met?"

  14. I like these ones:
    4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

    Of course I trust you! I'm blonde.

    Life is to short to dance with ugly boys.

    Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks your a weirdo.

    Nobody is perfect, I am nobody therefore I am perfect.

  15. Stop The World, I Want tO gEt oFF

  16. i got one

    resons why i dont have my english home work:
    1) the dog ate it
    2) i was obducted by aliens & i left it on their ship
    3) i gave it to a kid who's only wish was to a good english report for school
    4) i was too busy thinking up ways of how much i love my english teacher
    5) i fell and got Amnesia and didnt get my memory back untill it was time for class

  17. I have another excuse (it's the probably the worst one you cna give)
    6) i couldn't find anybody to copy off.

    I also have some other quotes:

    never never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.

    f... off I have enough friends

    Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together

  18. If life gives you lemons, squese them into somebody's eyes and run!

    i also have another good one...

    If life give you lemons, make grape juice, and sit back and laugh as the world tries to figure out how you did it. :D

  19. I got a school excuse for ya...

    Teacher: Why isn't your homework done?

    Student: My sister was eaten by my dog.

    Teacher: Oh my god! Why did he do that!?

    Student: Because, she ate my homework.

  20. If life gives you skittles, then throw them at the face of random people. And say taste the f***ing rainbow!

  21. I Think Therefore I Am Single

    (and yes I have a t-shirt that says that)

  22. I m a virgin but this is my old t-shirt.

  23. How bout: " the voices told me to do it"

  24. "Morally Bankrupt...but still spending!"

  25. What about these? (They aren't that good but...)

    1.) OMG! Donut seeds! (Then a pic of a bowl of cheerios)
    2.) 1 out of 4 people are crazy. If 3 of your friends are okay, you should be scared.
    3.)Bob is tired of being killed. Bob commited suicide. Bob came back to life. Ha ha, Bob. Ha ha.
    4.) Why did my life have to be a drama? Why not a musical?
    5.) Aren't you a little old to watch Phineas & Ferb? Why, yes. Yes I am.
    6.) How is Lady Gaga smart enough to translate French, yet she sings -- wait did you say tacos?

    IMO, I think those were pretty funny. Except the last one. You wouldn't get it cuz it's an inside joke.

  26. Tacos as in um tacos girls privates and hot dgs are males privates? yeah not so much nside o a joke

  27. 2 Miley Your a fuckehad..
    an inside JOKE!!!h haahh are you for real!!!
    obvisally tacos is a girls cunt!!
    and a hot ddog mans COCK

  28. 666, that wasn't very nice.

  29. if live gives you skittles, eat them

  30. People say , i have attitude problem
    I say go and get your self

  31. If Life Gave Me Lemons And I made Grape Juice, I would Get Pissed Because I Don't Like Grape Juice.



    This shirt must not be removed
    until the equipment involved is
    cleared for safe operation!!!

  33. How about " If your dick was as big as your mouth I'd be interested"


    Attention Thieves
    Please carry your I.D. so next of kin can be notified!!!!

  34. -how do i look?
    -fine boy for sale
    -fine guy, ugly purse
    -my pocket needs help

  35. Here is one:
    If you can read this then congrats you are literate.

    If you are here then who am I calling now.

    I hate my you, but you probably know it by now.

    Aliens are coming and you are one of them.

  36. -I'm right 97% of the time, who cares about the other 4%

    -If life gives you MELONS, then you may be dyslexic

    -Hold your horses, even horses need to be held sometimes

    -This is not a drill(picture of a hammer)

    -(Aleins drop down from the sky)
    ''Go eat the Canadians they're good with ketchup.''

    -If lfe gives you Lemons,keep then because hey, FREE LEMONS!

    -Strangers have the best candy

    -3.14 of sailors are Pi Rates

  37. "I'm too broke, i cnt even pay attention"

  38. (t shirt front) read the back
    (t shirt back) read the front

  39. If you tell me it's PMS one more time?
    I stapple your nuts to the floor...

  40. My personal favorite t-shirt, and yes folks I do own this one and wear it proudly! "Yes I am a Bitch, just not Yours!"

  41. how about ths one "kiss my S whole"

  42. do you think hes milky?????
    not really good for a t-shirt i just like it
    (you might not get it its an inside joke)

  43. Dyslexic people have more NUF!


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