Funny Sayings and Quotes- Whenever you do feel sad or alone or you are getting bored, just read these famous funny sayings. I am sure after reading these famous funny quotes and sayings there will be smile on your face and you will forgot all your sadness. Reading these funny
Quotes will make you feel happy and change your mood. We have collected these great funny sayings from various resources and we hope you do like them.
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Youth is a malady of which one becomes cured a little every day. He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheapest medicine.
Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'
You can't have everything....where would you put it?
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain
If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings including this one.
Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce. ----Lord Byron
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- It a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. ----W. Sommerset Morgan
You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
Don't forget to leave your comment about these Funny Sayings and quotes.
77 Comments:
Really funny funny. Love them all. Let them keep coming
Really funny! Please post more!
These are not that funny
Ya..,these are good...
Haha, these are funny it really made me giggle...unlike any other joke I've heard lately..:)
Nice, post more!
gud ones..
OMG thats like so awesome!!!!!!keep sending more
haha :) i was lonely. brought a smile on my face ^_^
i was lonely. brought a smile on my face ^_^
Really nice quotes...keeping posting more
hhhhmmmmm
aww these are good :o)
I only liked the one about the optimist. The others I didn't find humerous.
Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece?
some of them rnt really funny but some are and at least ur trying so just work harder =} thnx
very nice..please post more quotes
hhaha love the army one ...they shud tell that to every dump kid that wants to join
bt then agen hel prob like the idea
I LIKE PIE....... OH AND ASLO THESE SAYINGS THEY R GOOD....... BUT STILL NOT AS GOOD AS PIE!!!!
I DO LIKE PIE
Really interesting.
cool sayings!!!!
i really luved them, keep up the good work :)
The Army one is in poor taste
hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is good stuff, keep it coming...
Sorry, but not that funny...
yeh man that was good stuff..
wow thats funny i like the army one
Ha ha ha! These are hilarious!
i like the one in the comments about the birthday cake really funny and the optimist the others are ok:)!!!!keep up the good work!:)!
Thanks! Those are great!
Hilarious..........funny but carrying deep sense.
Inshort well job done,thx for such a post.
haha! awesome! post some more! I check every day for new ones.. :)
yea funnaayy
you're all gay, go get a life
you're all f***ed in the head go get a life.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hello everybody any chicks here! :)
Great, I liked the one about compromise.
haha, helped my boredom, keep 'em coming.
some people are like slinkies.... good for nothing but brings a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs....
lol great sayings... I got a couple...
Im not as think as you confused i am... And... You sense no make.
Very good sayings. Please add some more. Thank you
What would happen if I hired 2 private investigators to follow each other???
Dear IRS: Please cancel my subscription.
Was learning cursive really neccesary?
Thats enough, Nickleback.
I'm always slightly terrified when Word asks me if I want to "save changes" to my 15 page research paper that I swear I didn't make any changes to.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
haha i got one... friends are like potatos... if you eat them they die... hehe :) also girls are like phones... they like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button you get disconnected...
To the Anonymous who said:
"I only liked the one about the optimist. The others I didn't find humerous"
That's funny, I liked them all except that one.
They are indeed funny; Keep them coming
After reading your funny sayings; I have also one to share;
A DAY IS LOST; IF ONE HAS NOT LAUGHED
(french saying)
Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age.
Insanity is not an illness its a way of life.
I do not suffer from madness I enjoy every minute of it.
10. " I like nonsense; it wakens up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and that enables you to laugh at life's realities."
I like the quotes keep them coming
MM
reading these make you feel good makes your day keep them coming
haha these sayings are hilarious but i dont think they should use such big words,
good job man..... really good.....
Life is like a bowl of Jello. It is very loud when you use a straw.
These werent even that funny.. there were like 2 or 3 funny ones?!?! TRY HARDER
awww, their all not that bad.. I liked the 'girls are like phones' one, even though I am a girl :P
how about this one..
"Why do they say the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon??"
Good ones!!!! Keep them coming!
hahaha they're really great
nice these are amazing how about this one
to get the attintion of a bull headed person you should speek softly but carry a big stick
I've heard better
this was okay but not so funny at all, in fact kinda stupid actually... really stupid!
dont go to sleep angry, plot your revenge :D
No one will ever win the battle of the sexes, there is too much fraternizing with the enemy.
jeesh some people are just so harsh. really funny by the way!!
really helpful to avoid sad feelings----gohar
Funnily there are no (famous) W. Sommerset Morgan. There used to be a very well-known author by the name of W. Sommerset Maugham. Two clicks and you'd found him on the Internet.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH............. aLRIGHT i'M DONE!! OH WAIT,... NOPE!!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...... OH, YEAH, GOOD JOKES 2! WHERE WAS I??????????? oH YES!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHXX100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000... :D
Oh yeah, gr8 jokes, please keep them coming.
-Peace
Lolz.
Heres one I thinks good
~ If Barbie is so populaire, then why do you have to buy her two friends???
Enjoyed them, keep them coming.
love them!!!!!!!
really like the saying, dont mind what the critics think they just jealus. loved em! thx for making my day a bit better!
AA :)
It is better to fart and feel the shame than hold and feel the pain..:-)
old african saying - he who stands in the shadow of an elephant won't get sunburn....tink a'bout it
those made me smile..how fast is the Dark..lol
Hi,
Nice collection.
Dark cannot be fast, dark is a concept of something having no light. With out light us humans are blind. If you see something and its not a light source its a reflection of a light source think about it.
Hey dude sum ppl r fags here! U got hilarous ones! Love them! Hehee I got 2!. -crowded elevators smell dfferent to midgets- and -when no one is looking I google myself thanks for making my day! Stupid fags on here SHUT THE FU** UP!
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