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Privacy Policy

To help you make decisions about the information you provide anywhere on this site, this notice has been provided to outline our practices. You should know that we respect your privacy, and that I will never sell your information to anyone. Also, we hate spam as much as you do, so you will only ever get email from us that you have asked for and we have personally approved for distribution to the list.

We use secure hosting accounts and other security measures to protect our database and any information provided.

Any e-mail you receive from this site will contain the option to unsubscribe at the end of the e-mail. You can unsubscribe at any time.

If and when we offer products on this site, when you order a product, the information you provide will only be provided to outside parties if it is necessary to complete and deliver the order. Your information will never be shared or disclosed to other parties for any other reason.

Non-identifying information may be used to improve the site or shared with advertisers. For instance, information that is collected regarding traffic to the site or specific pages may be shared, but this will never include any identifying information.

Tracking
We don’t directly track your presence on this website. Your IP address is logged and we look at the server logs on occasion, but this is in an aggregate fashion for the purpose of determining why people come to visit us. What we are most interested in specifically are two things: The websites that link to us and send traffic here, and what keywords people use to find us via search engines such as Google, Yahoo, and MSN.

Cookies
We don’t directly set cookies, but we do run a number of scripts from providers such as Google, Kontera ads and Chitika to serve ads on our site. Some of these set web browser cookies to serve ads on your site. Google in particular quietly collects a tremendous amount of data on your browsing habits, and we participate in that data collection. In order to provide to provide advertisement about goods and services of interest to you, Google, as a third party vendor, uses DART cookie. At any time, you may opt out of DART cookie by visiting Google ad and content network privacy policy.

“Cookies” are data sent to your web browser from a web server (such as Google) that can uniquely identify your computer and store information about user preferences. Most web browsers will accept cookies by default, but they can be set to reject cookies, either from all websites or from specific sites. You can also manually delete cookies from your web browser. These options are generally set through a “Privacy” setting in your browser setup".

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Funny Sayings Page 1

I Brake For No Apparent Reason.
Unknown

Feel free to use anything, except my spouse & my toothbrush...I mean it about the toothbrush. Source : Humorous Funny Sayings

Please be patient. Even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.
Homer Simpson  

Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? Anyhow, I'm busting for a pee.

A compromise is an agreement whereby both partiesget what neither of them wanted. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Unknown

Wi-fi went down for five minutes, So I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people. :)

College is a refuge from hasty judgment.
Robert Frost

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.
Craig Bruce

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
Steven Wright

Newton’s third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot!
Ano…

Funny One Liners

That's the secret to life… replace one worry with another.

When God asks what you’ve done with your life, try not to say “Didn’t you read my statuses?”

Always believe in God. Because there are some questions that even Google can't answer.

Face down, ass up, that s the way we............ tie our shoes!

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

Doing nothing is very hard to do, you never know when you’re finished.

I dieted for a month and all I lost was 30 days.

I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
Mega Jones

One day before exam, I become the most religious person in the WORLD!!

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.

Only the good die young. So most of us are pretty safe.

If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.

Candy Is dandy, But liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash

I swear to DRUNK, I am not GOD.

Marriage is not a word...is a sentence.    source: funnyquotes4u.net

Love is like a Rhino, short-sighted, but always will…

Funny Sayings About Old Age

I guess I don’t mind so much being old, as I mind being fat and old. - Peter Gabriel Don’t worry about avoiding temptation – as you grow older, it starts avoiding you.
~Author Unknown
I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know? -Barry Cryer Growing old is like...
Being increasingly penalized ,
For a crime you have not committed!
Anthony Powell
I’m not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You’re as old as you feel. ~Elizabeth ArdenWe don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. ~George Bernard ShawLife is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. --- George Burns Old age is when you keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons.
- Lillian Carter
I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not …

Wise Sayings

Beauty is truth, truth beauty" - that is all ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. ----John Keats Simplicity and straight forwardness and not intelligence, lead to happiness. The heart of a fool is in his mouth, but the mouth of the wise man is in his heart. ---Benjamin Franklin Don’t show attitude… I have one of my own… The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open. Never move an old boundary mark that your ancestors established. Keep the gains of the post generation safely and pass them to our
future generation with useful addition by using best of our knowledge
and caliber. . A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning. ----Unknown Author You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum. ~Frances Willard Try to hide bad qualities of others. …

Funny Short Sayings

Sit comfortably, have a cup of coffee in your hand and be ready for journey, the journey of funny short sayings. Unlike other journey which consists of some degree of tiredness, this journey will provide you with giggles, chuckles, laughter, fun and humor. When you came back from this journey, you’ll feel refreshed, lightened and ecstatic.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

You’re just 18 with (?) year’s experience.

Funny how the new things are the old things.
Rudyard Kipling

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen.
Sarah Brown

My Nuts are Ok.

A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
George Eliot

I don't recognize you - I've changed a lot.
Oscar Wilde

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

I have enjoyed life a lot more by saying yes than by saying no.  Source

Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a…